| A survey of tradition: 2009 in Review |
[31 Dec 2009|07:00pm] |
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1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?: Held a full-time job, lived with a boy
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: n/a
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?: Eddie and Maria Amelia had Samuel on May 29
4. Did anyone close to you die?: Yes, Edith Adler :(
5. What countries did you visit?: Joe and I went to Montreal in Canada
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?: Resolution between my mom and my sister
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: January 27, the first day I started work
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: Living successfully with Joe
9. What was your biggest failure?: Not studying to stay current on CS Conference papers
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?: I'm always bumping into things, but I don't think I got seriously injured or ill
11. What was the best thing you bought?: My Dyson DC25 vacuum <3
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?: Yvonne, Nana, and Chikako for visiting me in Boston
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: Ronnie for not talking to Mom the entire year nor to me for most of the year
14. Where did most of your money go?: Probably rent...living in Cambridge is much more expensive than Champaign
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: Snuggles :X
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?: Anything Emilie Autumn played at the concert we went to in Montreal because it will remind me of our trip
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?: Happier
ii. thinner or fatter?: Probably fatter because I don't forget to eat now that I'm not in grad school
iii. richer or poorer?: Richer...I'm gainfully employed
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?: Oh man...the list is identical to last year :( ...Playing piano, playing DDR, reading, practicing French
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?: Getting really angry when things/people frustrate me
20. How will you be spending the holidays?: I spent Christmas with the Hawxhursts, and Joe and I are going to see Amanda Palmer in concert with the Boston Pops at Symphony Hall for New Year's Eve!!!
(Where's number 21?)
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?: Still very much in love :) <3
23. How many one-night stands?: Not unless you count snuggling my teddy bear when Joe went back to NJ some weekends.
24. What was your favorite TV program?: CSI. I've DVR'ing and watching reruns, keeping track of which I've seen so far so that I can eventually see the whole series
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: Nope
26. What was the best book you read?: The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?: Not too much brand new and astounding this year, just Emilie Autumn and Wolfsheim added to my collection
28. What did you want and get?: Snuggles, Squeezebox Radio, Dyson Vacuum, happiness living with Joe
29. What did you want and not get?: Mom and Ronnie to talk to each other, Netbook
30. What was your favorite film of this year?: Coraline
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: I turned 26. Some friends from work and I went out for drinks at Nickels bar after work. I'm sure I went out for dinner with Joe, but I can't remember for sure. His parents came up to visit that weekend.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: If I wouldn't have to tip-toe around the whole Ronnie subject every few times I talked to Mom
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?: Threw away some of the older t-shirts and introduced new nicer-cut blouses. Found some nice pants and heels that I could wear on days I felt like dressing up for work. Also, towards the end of the year, introduced wearing skirts with striped knee-high socks and Mary Janes.
34. What kept you sane?: Joe
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: I often looked forward to watching the videos communitychannel put out on YouTube. I also followed Amanda Palmer a lot, the beginning half of the year especially
36. What political issue stirred you the most?: Glen Beck is a mother fucking moron. As is that bitch on Fox news who went to an ivy-league school but doesn't know the word "czar." I love Jon Stewart.
37. Who did you miss?: My friends in NJ and IL :(
38. Who was the best new person you met?: At work probably Anya or Emily...neither of whom is a developer and both of whom help to keep me sane at work with non-nerdy conversation
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: Don't offer to shoot people's weddings, if only because of all the stress you'll have over it
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "I feel good enough / It's been such a long time coming / But I feel good"
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| the voice makes me crave him so much more... |
[27 Dec 2009|01:39am] |
I only have 6 months left here, I just have to make it through them...and Eric will be what keeps me sane. I loved being able to talk to him on the phone 3 different days this week. Even though the one time was upsetting and I was having a really rough day, the phone is better than nothing. he makes me feel so loved, so cared for, and like everything will be ok. he comforts me in a way no one else could if they tried; I wish I could get his hugs and arms holding me now.
I've got alot to get through in the next few months, and I've already done a lot this year so far; it's been pretty draining. Eric keeps me wanting to hang on, I don't know what I would have done without him some times...and i need reassurance more often from him that i know he'd love to give if he could. It helps people reminded me of him, what he'd say of think. makes me smile and kinda go off in my own little daydream...
my idea for our vows is to go through everything we've written...hopefully I can compile some excerpts from emails to give him some ideas, I still have the book of phone texts and the boot camp letters (his). i'm not sure where the letters that I wrote are...and i really want to write another song. i need to find one for the wedding for my sister to sing, too.
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[24 Dec 2009|06:43pm] |
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Last night I dreamed I was the administrative assistant to an internarional spy/ operative who looked like a young Nigel Barker. We had mucho chemistry. We did everything together, ate, slept/napped, etc. Then his pretty blonde fiance showed up and the three of us did stuff. Awkwardness ensued when I pretended there was no chemistry and he acted like I was his best friend.
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| truths of tarot? i'm only human |
[22 Dec 2009|09:14pm] |
Let me not fall to despair, and please give me another chance, it has been a long while since I've asked for one...i put forth the effort this time, and i refuse to fail. Dignity and respect always win, regardless of conventional acceptance, and I own my perspective on life. what i see at the end of it is not for anyone else to judge; i alone bear the consequences of what i do and how it affects me. others choosing to let themselves be affected is not my problem, and if something indirectly comes from it then i'll deal. I just can't live with someone else's priorities above my own. i find it sad that some do not even see the validity of what mine are, or even that they exist for a reason; thier definition of fulfillment differs so greatly, thus blinding them into denial of my intentions.
I find peace in recognizing the limitations of certain people, ironically those who are supposed to be closer to me, but it does not make it easier to live with them always. I've never felt all that obligated to act toward gaining thier approval by any means, but it gets to me sometimes, constantly putting up with the obvious objections. i won't let that deter me from living how I choose to; they do not seem to understand that in their attempt to do so, I just feel more detached and successful.
one cannot comprehend that i choose to exist on an alternative plane if one does not comprehend that the existence of such planes
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[21 Dec 2009|07:38pm] |
Gaaaaaaaaaah! Tales of Graces is out in Japan and it still has no american release date!
I WANT IT SO BAD!
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